My cards were read...

K - Well... My original introduction to card reading....

This past September my amazing friend bought me a birthday present ticket to Green Day in Vancouver. Yes, I turned 29, she's uhhhhh... I forget (she's either going to roll her eyes at me being 'stupid' or going to get angry and the whole 'How could you?!' including a slight jump / slump she does so well)..... where the $#!%$# was I ... green day, Vancouver , fabulous frien... go it!!!!!

In spite of being next to a pile of 14 - 17 year olds, the concert was great and it's ALL because she's the BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD! (hehehe, now she CAN'T be angry... cuz anyone else reading this will think her mean for being all eye rolling with me :)

I call this amazing friend Martina because she an AWESOME tennise player and MArtina is the best lady tennis player in the world

Now your next question is: "So you played cards with Green Day? Get to the point!"
My answer: "Don't RUSH ME!!!!!"

Cards (and a confession):
Green Day has NOTHING to do with these cards.

One of Martina's Vancouver friends (all of whom are really great people) NOTE: Not kissing butt this time, Martina wastes no time with losers ... does card reading (like fortunes).... K - well, so far as I could tell, she dealt cards into a funky pile and madeup stuff about them possibly as an excuse to ask me a bunch of personal questions.... If I recall correctly it went like:
Poker Face (the name I give her, after realising she seems to smile and laugh at everything... including a comedian pulling a torn ace of spades from him butt?????): I see the Queen of diamonds... do you have a girl back home?
Huma: uhhhhh.. no.
Poker Face: Well the 5 of clubs indicates wealth and it's touching a Jack of *whatever* (remember, I think she made this all up) which means a rich guy named Jack is going to steal your money....

And so on...... What did I get from it? In my words:

There's a woman you're going to buy something for: TRUE - I'll ply a woman with as much liquor as neccessary for her to tolerate my garbage :)

there's money in your life: TRUE - I work in Financial services.. it's everyone elses $$$$

a bunch of others I've forgotten since September

NOW - to be fair, what she read / interepreted did make me think about self fulfilling prophecies.

Soooooooo.........

A couple months go by.... and Martina is visiting Winnipeg for the holidays.
I visit her folks place, and her mom and auntie offer to read my cards.... everyone else scatters as I sit.... they all crawl back to the table the way zebra return to the watering hole once they feel the pride of tigers is satisfied with their recent prize.
Auntie begins dealing the cards in thesmae pile / fashion as did Poker Face, but pauses part way through, looks at Mommy Martina, who consults a dog-eared page of a library book title something like "How to read the cards of some guy you have cornered in your kitchen."

Well anyway, after much consultation of the book and the cards, they read to me what seemed like every conceivable combination of what this pile of cards should mean.
MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE READING:
auntie This card (imagine voice muffled because her face is inches from the book) is about money... and it's touching this card, which means...
Mommy Martina I thinnk it means lots. He'll have lots of $$$$
Auntie Really? I looks here like he'll have very little.
an akward silence as Mommy and Auntie look at eachother.. I can read their thoughts....
Auntie I have no idea what this means - I thought it meant loss
MommyI'm stumped too.... I thought it meant 'lots'. We need to tell him something otherwise he'll know we're amateurs
They look at me at the same time:
Mommy and Auntie: This means you will have either very much $$$ or very little $$$$.

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Well - it so happens I had my NEW DIGITAL CAMERA (oooohhhhh) with me, and figured I should get a second opinion.

Poker Face, please have a look here and let me know what my fortune/future beholds.


Poker face... PLEASE HELP! Should I store money? throw it away on frivilous things? Lie? Cheat? Steal? Please, I need your second opinion.