When a man has a cold

I'm sitting here, at chuckling at myself as I think back on the pity train I rode thorought the past week.

Amazing things popped in to my head.
"God, I can't believe I'm at work."
"Geez my bones feel like they're going to creak.."
"I'm so stiff all over I'm afraid I'll snap a limb if i move it."
"My coworkers must be jerks.. can't they tell I'm sick? Why are they expecting me to work?"

In case you haven't guessed it - I had a cold.

And being a typical guy, I spent the week moping... weeping for myself in my weakened state. I know we men behave like the world owes us something because we are the only people in world to ever be sick. I mean, really... did you read the definition for a common cold?

"an acute contagious disease of the upper respiratory tract that ...."

Now of course after I read this I relax in the knowledge of what's happening to my body....
"OH MY GOD! I'M DYING!!!!! This is ACUTE.... What the hell does ACUTE mean?! I deserve a telethon or something."

Well I decided, after finishing a coughing fit (awwwhhhhh) to read on when I see this other definition:

"a mild viral infection involving the nose and respiratory "

"Oh... OK. .. I suppose that puts it in to perspective.... Ummm.. I ghuess I"ve been over reacting a bit. OK - I'll just have a nap."

My only question after being under the weather for a wek is this:
Why would I, who lives alone, mope around my apartment.. dragging my pathetic ass from my bedroom, to the bathroom and back to bed all day Saturday even bother gong through the theatrics when there's no one to witness it?

I really gotta work on my tactics.