Tough Lesson Today

Thanks to BTP for suggesting this assignment.

Sadly, I did receive an assignment and not a reminder.

My assignment: Tell three people today what I admire about them.. This is something I should be reminded to do... but it wound up being an assignment.

BTP and I came upon eachother on msn last night... we chatted a bit about her jewelry making and such..
As we were chatting I offhandedly make a crack about doing nothing. BTP replied: "I'm just here waiting." (or something like
that).

Huma: "Waiting for what?"
BTP: "Waiting for the world to be a better place."
Huma: Well, how can I help with that?
BTP: "What?"
Huma:"Challenge me. Something tangible. That I can do without quitting my job or moving away."
a couple minutes of idle chit chat about ultimate and candles and jewelry ensue (candles and jewelry... I need to eat some red meat fast)
BTP: "OK - tomorrow, tell 3 people what you admire about them."
Huma: "I suppoose you want it to be someon I wouldn't normally say that to... that'ss the point of the exercise, right?"
BTP: "Precisely.. you'll improve their day, because people do need to hear that more often."
Huma: "Shit.. that'll be tough at work."
this whole "quote" thing (picture me making the two finger international sign for quotations) here is quite paraphrased... but I do have the spirit of the conversation right on

Now here's how my day went:

got to work - decided than on a day I'm reviewing a contract with my new employer, I shouldn't do the rounds here. Althoug I've been around these folks for over a year I haven't much in common with any of them and don't really know them.

emailed a former coworker / lady in my building during my lunch - she and I talk nearly everyday... she's a nice person in a different place in life (hubby, 2.4 kids, place in the burbs, etc), but I find chatting with her nice.. kind of a gateway to a different life and perspective.

emailed one of the girls on my team from home - now, I do admire / respect guts. While she is demanding of herself and others (should those others claim to be capable, or "talking the talk"), she is sincere in her appreciation of the efforts of others. She can turn the tough off and on.

Phoned Martina in Vancouver this evening. I couldn't get her either at home or on her cell, so I left her a voice message telling her why I admire her - I admire her passion and sincere love for what she does (tennis) and how she genuinely enjoys teaching others (her students) learn and improve.

The Tough Lesson:

Why is this so tough to do?
Because the moment you express an honest appreciation for a peron, you're actually making yourself feel vulnerable.
What would I expect from these people? I did msn chat with Guts afterwards and she was appreciative. "You think I'm nice? Thanks." is likely the most interesting response I'll probably get.
Part of the hesitation is having my "display" (can't think of anyt better word) rejected or laughed off. This is probaly why I chose the people I did. I trust each of them to not just shrug it off.
The other part of today's lesson - Looking around, thinking of people I know made me realise.. I don't really 'admire' many of the people I know. I respect and appreciate different things in people, but admire? does this make me something of a jackass?

I have always refused to 'aspire to be' like someone else. "I will not try being like Wayne Gretzky, though his backhand is worth watching so I can get a better backhand" is a way I've always wanted to learn.
"I'm no more or less capable of achieving what you have, so I won't look up to you." Is another phrase that comes to mind.
Growing up, this way of thinking helped me out while living what I found to be a difficult home life. But as an adult (which I never care to call myself :), zhould I be changing my approach to people?
YES.
I found today that I think I jump having a negative of people without getting to know them. I'm rather condescending in my thoughts of people... and I'm not happy about this.

Anyway - had a quick MSN with BTP (yes - spent most of my evening on near my msn messenger... sigh), who's given me another assignment for tomorrow: "Don't be so hard on myself."

I wish I got a far easier assignment.
I wish this was a reminder, and not an assignment.