Dry British Wit

Friday... bored.... but this is funny (well I think it is).

if You Can't Run for the Bus

Ladies, please consider this as a requisite when deciding on what your outdoor footwear will be;
"Can I run for the bus in these shoes (or boots)?"
If the answe is 'no', then please something else on.

Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy and appreciate how a modest heel on a shoe can shape a womans' leg and perhaps even add a bit of swivel to her walk.... But if you feel that's worth the cost of being unable to get around without needing help, stumbling on the slightest irregularity on the floor, or needing completely smooth and cobble free pavement everywhere you walk; then I think you are mistaken.

i'm not suggesting you need to be capable of running the a steeplechase in your everyday footwear... but running to catch a bus is something you may need to do, and is a good standard to meet.
If you can run for the bus, then you should also be able to:

walk somewhat cofidently on an icy sidewalk

step over a curb

walk over cracks in the floor

walk over a grate

Each of these items is something any able bodied person should be able to do as they walk on the street. Why hobble yourselves with 'fashionable' shoes?
Please.. if fashionable footwear is that important, please carry yourself a pair of shoes for when you arrive to work, but when you're on the way to somewhere, or out for a walk... please be certain you can at least walk.

Why be productive?

How I wasted away my evening...

got home from work

had a nap (approx 2 hours)

Read a couple articles in Harpes Magazine (just started reading it to look smart)

If you deal with language everyday... awesome

The world is COMPLETELY messed.

Homes with Roller Coasters in them Network?

Only if you enjoy ulti vids

Research for a comment on another blog

Sooo.. then.. AM I cool or not?

I check each day.. HOPING he'll add something else

They have a weekly news review as well as a good 'poser' magazine

I'll likely have to see this at cinematheque.. but it looks good

Interesting

Bringing freedom to the world.. how about clean water to its own population?

Similar story north of the 49th

I'mnow about to email a thank you to Music Huma for getting me my huma T-shirts (fashion file Post is yet to come).

mmmm... naps

Can you think of anything more selfish and fulfilling as a nap?
Call it what you like; quick snooze, a wink, siester, and light slimber... whatever.

Get home... leave the laundry in the hamper.. .leave the answering machine unchecked, the mail unopened.. and nap.
If the nap is good there seems to be no regrets.

BTW - I KNOW that those of you with children are reading this and thinking something like "You childless SOB... rub it in why don't you!"

MUWOOOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Part of the Problem

The Scene

Walking home from work.. in a hurry to make it in time to meet some folks at Rumors for a slo-pitch fundraiser.

Moving along Portage Ave near a major downtown hotel.

Two very 'messed up' fellows are staggering against the wall. As I'm at the intersection waiting for traffic to clear so I can cross to the sidewalk they are on one of them swings a haymaker and knocks the other one down... hard. The punch recipient smacked his head on the hard ground and lays there for about 15 seconds.

The Choice

Stop and see if I can help (though I likely couldn't anything besides call an ambulance and wait)
OR

walk on past and think of it as just one other poor soul on the streets of Winnipeg that'll have to fend for themselves because "Hey! How much will it really help if I spend 30 minutes waiting for an ambulance to take this guy to a hospital who'll likely discharge him so he can go out and damage himself again in a few hours?"

The Decision
I walked past as I saw his friend was beginning to pick him up. I also noticed many other people looking at the scene and pausing briefly before walking on, as I did.

The Result
I feel guilty. Not because I forgot about this the moment I got home and had to plan my evening. Not even because I walked past this person needing help.
I feel guilty because after I got 3 steps past him, I pretty much forgot completely about him.

I dismissed another human being.
Do I deserve any better if I find myself in an unfortunate state?

Busted!

Well, really I wasn't 'busted' in the sense of doing anything wrong... I was caught simply by allowing my face to show my true feelings... I expressed myself.

The Situation
I'm the elevator at the office. It's just before lunch time so the elevator is busy.
There are two other people on the elevator, one behind me, and another to my right. The door opens and two others board and occupy the space previously occupied by the other lady. I look over (I decided against saying that I look 'down' at the new passenger, but I am probably a good 9 inches taller than her) and hear a slight 'gasp' of the "Well I never" variety behind and to the right. You see, one of the passengers was quite upset by the disgusted look I let slip on to my face. The reason she was obviously upset with me... The lady now standing directly beside me is physically challenged and using a pair of crutches to get around.

But PLEASE!!! Believe me when I say I never even noticed this. What I was disgusted by was the new co-passenger who arrived and is two spaces over... And the BUCKET OF PERFUME she was wearing!!!! I was almost in tears. DEAR GAWD!

My Solution (to this very difficult social 'faux pas')
I pretended to stifle a sneeze.
I'm a shitty actor.

The Result
The lady with the crutches gave me a confused "Bless you."
I could see from the reflection in the door my 1 person audience was obviously unimpressed with my performance.
The Perfume Factory was still giving off vapors like Pepe Le Pew from Looney Tunes .

The Lesson
Don't express yourself in public.
Daily botox if you're like me and are unable to hide your feelings behind a cool exterior and bitch about it later on your blog.
Take the stairs.

Just got home

from a weekend trip to St Cloud for an ultimate tourney. I had a pretty good time.

Since it's an out of season tourney, I was able to get some pointers from a couple of the more experienced players, which is nice. I surprised myself with a couple of decent passes and my D - well, is getting better... and my overall confidence is climbing. so a good trip overall.

Of note - this was my first time on a school campus in quite a while.

I've taken p/t evening classes at the local tech college, with other adults..... but this was first time in the middle of a university campus in probably 5 yrs...

Well I'm 29, single, healthy, and on a trip with a bunch of guys... and yes I'm going to notice attractive women.
But this weekend I realised something.... I'm 29!, and they're possibly under 20!!!!!
When the hell did a twenty year old becom sooo freaking young!?
Man! I have begun looking for wedding / engagement rings when I'm talking to someone attractive, but when did a twenty year old become "just twenty years old"?

I've got some adjustments to make, I think... though what do I really need to adjust? As soon as I realise I'm noticing someone well younger than me, I don't even really think about it, or them.

Anyway - enough about me being a creepy old man.... though I suppose if I WAS a creepy old man, I would even be worried; would I?